Single Parent???

Huh! The more I thought about this name we are given, the more I thought about how wrong it is! Here's why:

1. Every parent has at least 2 (sometimes 3 or 4 depending on remarriages) parents.
These parents will offer words of wisdom when asked! But more times than not they will offer their opinions, even when not asked. I personally have a father, a mother, and a stepfather. All of whom I love dearly.
My father is the Logical/Voice of Reason/(picture Jiminy Cricket on your shoulder...seriously, my conscience is my father's voice!). He offers the most sound advise, wise beyond his 52 years! He has however learned that just because he offers advise I won't necessarily take it. I realize now that lately, he just waits for me to ask, or waits for me to call him crying and asking him what to do.
My mother is simply put my best friend. She comforts me when I'm stressed, lets me vent when my children drive me crazy, and laughs with me during crazy American Idol things! She also will express her opinions. Her opinions are like my father's always listened to and not always taken.
Then there is my stepfather Mike...The strong silent one. (This I like) It's not that he doesn't offer advise, but it's more of subtly saying that he's proud of me or he has heard the wonderful things I am doing and keep up the good work. So he in is own way is offering his opinion.
All of these are great by the way Dad, Mom, and Mike! I appreciate all of you!

2. Then some of us have Brothers and Sisters (in-laws)
I do! David and Claire are absolutely amazing! I know their life isn't always perfect, their children are not always perfect, and they are not always perfect, but they remind me of the happy couples from the old days of black and white TV. Claire amazes me with her strength as a woman, mother, and wife. David is an amazing father. He has balanced work, school, and family and managed to graduate from Liberty University in the middle of all that. (For that I am truly proud of him for). These two people are always willing to offer advise when asked. They are both inspirations for me.

3. Friends (Single, Married, Parents, and even Non-Parents)
These people are the ones that drive me crazy! They don't realize that my children are not like their children. (In case you didn't know all children are not the same!) But friends don't always let you vent without saying, "If my child ever did that I would......."

4. The Other Parent
As parentS raising children together, you put on the unified front. You both work together for the peace of the household. However, in a separated/single parent circumstance, you are subconsciously criticizing everything the other parent does. Whether they currently have the child or not. I know I do this.
When Britt's dad does not have her, I criticize him when he calls too much and when he doesn't call enough. I express frustration when he talks about going out and (in my mind sometimes) "being free". But when she's with him, I criticize him still, for not doing things the "mommy" way. He does the same things though. He is always willing to tell me exactly what to do with Brittany, even though he really doesn't understand her day to day issues.
Isaiah's father is not around, but I know I find myself criticizing him too. (I'm sure he sits around criticizing me) Glad he's not around, mad he's not around. Thinking if he would be a good father if he were around, When I was pregnant and even before then, he always had advise on everything in life...and I'm sure would have lots of opinions on raising Isaiah.

5. Complete Strangers
These people come out of nowhere! Stores, radio, books, tv, church, restaurants, etc etc etc. I don't know which ones are the hardest to deal with, The ones that tell you your children are perfect angels! (when they have just dumped your purse one item at a time through a three hour Wal-mart excursion) or the ones that look at you when they are throwing temper tantrums in the restaurant. I like the ones on TV and radio that have all this advise to give.


Not all advise is bad. Please don't think I am saying that at all...especially if you are someone who offers me advice that I have taken!

First thought...if you don't have kids, don't offer advise.

Secondly, if you aren't a single mother...don't offer the encouraging words, that one day it will get better. Because on those rough days when I am counting the 3,584 days till Brittany turns 18 and someone reminds me that it will get better, I think about the day my baby girl goes off to college, and gets married. Then I start crying. I turn and look at Brittany with tears and mascara running down my face and Brittany looks at Isaiah and says...."Uh-oh We did it now...we made mommy cry!" And I then remember, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm selfish. I want both of them to myself and hate when it's not just the Three Musketeers!

I guess the thought that I will leave you with today is....even if I could, I wouldn't change being a single mom. If one day that changes and I get married (gasp) then I will remember the times I was strong, the times when I cried in wal-mart, the times when I didn't know what to do, and the time I was my son's superhero fixing his favorite power ranger, the times when I wanted to be by myself and the times when I cuddled with all three of us in the bed.

I think, we will have extra cuddle time tonight....just this "single" parent and her kids!